I wonder how long we will have freedom of speech...maybe it is all just to see who they need to get rid of when they decide to...so it was in ages past but if this is the case I want to be remembered as having testified of what I felt was important and true....even if the only ones who remember is the Holy Ghost, Jesus Christ, God and me.

You know, there are people who say that they do not believe in organized religion. I am not sure that I believe in any other kind of "organization", family included. As I have observed all kinds of organizations and friendships or groups/clubs/families in all types of cultures I still believe that it is God that I want to be at the forefront of my thoughts and as my guide for the choices that I make. And this is something that organizations of people try to take away from you.
Especially as they defeat the purpose or place of the Holy Ghost and tell you that you cannot think or make judgments for yourself.
I have seen a lot of damage done and manipulation and abuse in the name of friendship or loyalty to clubs, look at deaths of those who get hazed for instance. That is unusual you say, I do not think so, I believe that many have lost their dignity and self respect as well as any belief that there is human decency anywhere through similar experiences, with such formal names or not. Abuse is a form of existence in a brotherhood or sisterhood and we deem ourselves privileged to be a part of it and then scorn the "organization" of the church of Jesus Christ that teaches us to love one another and not to set up traps to harm another just because we can.
It seems many feel it is better to be the butt of a joke or to join with others like lynch mobs ready to sacrifice another human beings dignity or life so that we may "belong" or get the rush of false power, because somewhere in the core of us we know that it is only luck of the draw that we are not the one who is the brunt of the joke or abuse of the moment.
What do we laugh at? And is all that we laugh at decent or appropriate in honoring life?
Loyalties you say, "I have known them forever and they have been there through this and that". This gives them the right to invade your space and your mind and tell you what you think and why you think it, right?!!???
Many live with outright physical abuse and even sexual abuse justified because of relationships with another. : (
Friendships...I have only seen one to be a friend without fail and that is Jesus Christ. I consider those who have him for a friend to be friends of mine and to be fairly "safe" around and that can change at any moment.
I believe in sex...but I do not believe in romantic love. Sex is a comfort for the pain of life (as well as needed for propagation of the species) and if entered into with fidelity can draw two people together like nothing else can. It is where we become most like God as we unite with another to create life. How desecrated man has made this noble gift!
I believe love is a gift that comes after the acceptance of the responsibility to serve God's children however we may be able to and this would include ourselves.
I believe friendship happens as we prove ourselves faithful to the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe that it is God I may trust and that only God is good and 55 years of life and seeking for any witness of anything else has not given me any reason to believe anything else.
I believe that to believe in organizations among men that I must denounce my own existence or ability to think, yet in The Church of Jesus Christ I choose to be taught by the Holy Spirit through scripture, prayer, ordinances, and service. I wish to serve God above all. I also enjoy hearing other peoples interpretation on gospel principles because that helps me to grow.
I believe in duty and diligence. I believe in the oneness and unity of man, even as they claim that it is possible to hurt another without hurting themselves.
I believe in tolerance and patience and the only place I have found this to be real and true is in the organization of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. People within the organization mess up all the time, true enough, but the scriptures and the apostles guide with these principles steady and true, in as much as I have observed for nearly 29 years.
It is only within the structure of this "organization" that I may serve and be served without being put into bondage because all that I do I do of my own free choice and I do it unto God, likewise what I receive from others in this organization (and any other for that matter) comes by the grace of God. I have accepted this truth and it gives me freedom and does not make me a victim to the manipulation of another human being and keeps me serving the living God, according to my own conscience and understanding at the moment. 
And in families sometimes you are accepted and treated with respect and courtesy IF you fit the mode of acceptability within the society that they choose to be a part of. What is up with that? Since when does human decency and human dignity have anything to do with the society one is in and not with the relationship that one personally has with the Savior. What I mean by this is that if one has a healthy relationship with the Savior then all people are treated with dignity and respect, ourselves included. This pre-supposes that we forgive one another and ourselves for our flaws before they even occur. This does not have to mean that we do not speak out if something cruel or unkind is occurring in our presence. This is done with the understanding that we do in fact have love one to another. And it should be treated as something that we would want to hear because to offend someone is not something that we want to do when Christ is our center.
It has been prophesied that there would come a time when wrong would be right and right would be wrong. There is also the prophesy that the great whore of the earth will fall and great shall be the fall thereof. I believe that part of the fall will be the understanding that the only organization we want to be a part of or that has any eternal stability or longevity is that which we hold within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Also, it is only in the church that we have the possibility of being with our families or those that we love on the other side of the veil (after death). I believe that this has a lot to do with the communion of the Holy Ghost and the work he does within us between the physical, intellectual and spiritual body, but it cannot be done if we are too busy or shut off our ability to think.
Once this is understood people will come by the thousands and the church will blossom like never before and those who do not enter its safety will consume one another emotionally and otherwise and they will hurt and destroy one another even more than they do now.
What makes this bearable to those who are in the church is not that they are "safe" and "secure" and the others are "damned", for many innocent ones have been and will be hurt also, rather that the Holy Ghost will help those inside the church to carry the broken heart that the righteous will have at the thought of any of our brethren being consumed and not partaking in the glories of the mercy of God.

I think about being perfect quite a bit so when I come upon it in the scriptures I like to take note. Reading in Hebrews 11:40 says that "God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect". In the footnotes the Joseph Smith Jr Translation says "God having provided some better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect". There is a huge difference wouldn't you say?
This says a lot about the process of attaining perfection and that it is in fact a process, at the same time I believe in any particular moment we may be perfect even as Christ was perfect if we have a humble heart that is willing to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost and lean not to your own understanding.
The sufferings is what gives us the opportunities to make our choices and decide the path that we will take in our personal spiritual growth. These things will not be forced upon us but must be taken willingly. This is another reason it is a very good idea to be grateful for whatever comes in our lives. It truly is refining and defining us and we have a lot to say about what that means. And make no mistake, we all will have these challenges and sufferings in some form or another and probably in many forms. (physical, social, intellectual, spiritual, relationships, psychologically, etc.)

I had a friend tell me this week that he had seen a show about 10 things you did not know about Mormons and I watched it and was going to do a commentary on it but when I tried to look it up again it was such a joke to see how many things were there and I am not going to even get into it.
People are people and the gospel is the gospel. They are two different things. People can and will do anything and the gospel is the one thing that will restore and protect us and, in fact, give us eternal life. Nothing else will. Christ will have a structure set up on the earth before he returns. This just makes sense. Any story or situation can be taken out of context and it really does require the Holy Ghost to know what is going on. The companionship of the Holy Ghost is something to seek after and to listen to and to get to know the feeling of his presence because it will do much to direct you in the path that you need to go. It is worth any effort to be familiar and acquainted with the Holy Ghost.

It is Mental Health Awareness Week and a post on facebook reads "Depression, anxiety, and panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are signs of having tried to remain strong for too long. Did you know that 1 in 3 of us go through this some time in our lives?"

I believe the strongest among us will face issues like this, mainly because they take the risk to care about others and their place in the world. To admit weakness is a strength, I believe, and, if we are willing to place ourselves in another's care, can help us turn unto the Creator and the Redeemer who can make weaknesses strengths for his purposes. There are many tools given to man to use to understand and function in this place with so many mists of darkness. And to use those tools and resources God has given us is wise. Reality is we are all weak and reliant on the mercies of God.

I mean, what is wrong with admitting we have weaknesses? It does not make us any less valuable or
important! God is omnipotent and all powerful and all knowing. I have no problem recognizing that and yielding to it. And I know he does and continues to use me in my weakness. I have found that these states of depression, anxiety, and panic can come at times of distress and, oddly enough, at times of positive experiences as well. I also know that yielding to his will and using all the tools and resources that are at
my disposal, including small acts of kindness from others can a great help. I hope I can lift another along the way too. So many suffer, even behind beautiful smiles...

I have to admit I am a bit of a perfectionist and I like to do what I do with gusto and well. "So I would be proud to put my name on it", as Dad used to say. If I had waited for that to put my first book up it never would have happened. I look through the book and I see things that need to be changed somehow, but I know that I was guided in how I wrote and I have so much more that I need to do this year alone that I cannot alter it.
I am beginning to get the impression that Heavenly Father uses our weaknesses to his glory and that is just fine with me. His mercy is so great and I have so many weaknesses that I am glad to give over to him and let him use in his own way.
Perhaps I will write in this blog things that I would have said in a different way. To be sure what I have said is what I meant to say at that time and stands firm, even though I may/will continue to grow.
One step at a time, to God be all glory, in Jesus name, amen.

I watched this and had to comment: Lauren Zalaznick: The conscience of television | Video on TED.com www.ted.comTED Talks TV executive Lauren Zalaznick thinks deeply about pop television. Sharing results of a bold study that tracks attitudes against TV ratings over five decades, she makes a case that television reflects who we truly are -- in ways we might not have expected.

Christa-Ann Faith Godsdaughter I was born in 56...I believe the fact that the masses grew up thinking
that someone was taking care of them is a factor in how media reflects who we are. Or gives place for that theory anyway.
Video and DVD gave those who wanted to opt out of TV that ability to do so plays a role. I believe that the silent morality in our nation simply shut off the TV. I do not believe media says who we are it only says what certain ones want us to believe.
Media has given rise to the voice of the squeaky few who wish to blast what gives us structure and security. They seek to destroy all, including police protection and the right to birth or raise children or teach values or morals or even to have a voice. Part of it is just to see if they can, there is power in this you know.
The fact that every generation has been taught by the media and public school system that our parents and their generation are stupid is so sad! The consequence is that we shut off their council. Even after they have gotten out of the "spending age" so they are of no use to the media and they are no longer the "target" of the media, thus having a chance to "see" what is going on and teach or educate the younger generation they are considered old, senile, out of it, etc (my all time most saddening movie that exemplifies this attitude is Fiddler on the Roof, praised by many and yet we cannot see the subtle tactics of the adversary in the show and its endearing ways) and we lose a gift from God in them or seniors and parents of the adult.
I have heard the phrase among those with no conscience for responsibility to their fellow man in the market place, "let's see how much they will tolerate, let's push the umbrella and see how much discomfort they will accept for our gain" The good thing about this is that the voices of the wicked are arising so that we can hear them and can no longer be still, but will we? What will we do as our country and values disintegrate before our eyes? Will we stand and say there is nothing we can do or it is foretold as if somehow that makes our place in it irrelevant??!!!
The choice is ours to act or be acted upon. Today is the day to decide!

I have finally seen the NOVA program that speaks of space and rings as scientific "proof" lending credence to my theory that we live in a bit of a "Hologram". What we think as life is truly only a system set up to allow us a bit of a time warp. One that allows us to choose to "be". Truly to decide if we are willing to live by the laws that will allow us continued growth or essence. Or if we will stunt our growth and stop where we are.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/physics/fabric-of-cosmos.html
 I believe that this hologramic circumstance is necessary and important for the plan of salvation as presented by Heavenly Father and testifies of the divinity of Jesus Christ and the need of the Holy Ghost to have any concept of what truly "is".
(original draft November 2011)